Our first runner up also doesn’t receive a prize, but in the event that the winner can not perform her duties or has naked pictures leaked on the internet, she will be crowned the winner. … Also, I should mention that a week before his mom passing, a female friend of his died at 26 from an undetected cancer and we had made the 4 1/2 hour drive to his hometown of Bumblefuck, Pennsylvania (a town renowned for its lone gay bar repeatedly being burned down and then reopened …
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